Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Top Ten List for Eva

Top Ten Reasons I love Evangeline Malia

  1. You know how to do the cricket “nee-nee” sound with me and Emma

    9. You can read a whole book in a day

    8 You can find ducks when no one else can after searching forever.

    7. You can type better than I can, because you type with your fingers in the right place.

    6. You remember things that other people don't remember

    5. You are really good at cursive.

    4. You can fold your clothes and organize them in your drawer amazingly well.

    3. You come up with really cool and fun games to play with isaac and levi.

    2. you are good at playing yahtzee.

  1. You have a beautiful smile and a kind and giving heart!

Top Ten List for Isaac

    Top Ten Reasons I love Isaac Aaron

    10. You are the perfect giver of magnet hugs.

    9. You can do math problems in your head.

    8. You like to switch around the words in “ I love you, how much, all the world” to How much, I love you , all the world.

    7. You have the most hilarious laugh ever, and you make me laugh.

    6. You are good at making Saraiah laugh and stop crying.

    5. You are super good at video games.

    4. You did well figuring out how to use your tech deck.

    3. You have nice glasses and handsome eyes.

    2. You think about the parts that words are made of, like Outerspace.

  1. You were a beautiful baby and now you are a smart and handsome young man.

Top Ten List for Levi

    Top Ten Reasons I love Levi Gabriel

    10. You know how to catch chickens and ducks really well.

    9. You are not afraid of bugs and worms and you can catch them.

    8. You can make the letter L really well.

    7. You can jump really far on the stairs.

    6. You are really good at folding washcloths.

    5. You are really good at doing your job of putting away silverware.

    4. You know how to make things work, and not work. Like you can turn off the electric fence and you can open the garage door.

    3. You can catch pearl.

    2. You give the best Levi Hugs ever.

    1. You say “mom, I love you” all the time.

Top Ten List for Saraiah

    Top ten reasons I love Saraiah Jean

  1. You can go potty in the sink or anywhere you go.

    9. You have pretty lips

    8. You smile all the time.

    7. You like all animals, whether they are goats, cats, fish or birds.

    6. You get really excited and kick your legs whenever you see someone you love.

    5. You look just exactly like your daddy.

    4. Your hair is soft.

    3. You pat my back when I pat yours.

    2. You like to go on slides.

    1. You are just the baby I prayed for.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

who's to blame?

Who's to blame for a garden overgrown? Should I blame the rain? God? The weeds? Lack of help? Why is it that if anything goes awry, I have to find someone or something to shoulder the blame? Why is it so hard to blame me? I was lazy. I didn't make time to weed. I didn't figure out a way to get mulch. All the hard work of starting the plants indoors in the cold of winter is crowded out to make way for the jungle-like weeds that leave the food plants stretching desperately for sunshine. Really, i have never seen cabbage grow such tall leaves, trying in vain to outgrow the horsetails and thistles that surround them.

So what's a gal to do, when her garden fails, just the same as it does every year? Shall I tell myself it'll be better next year, when the same thing will probably happen next year? Does optimism have any worth without planning. Action taken is worth more than 1000 lists of things to do and great intentions. How do I figure out what I should let slide? Shall I pray for God to give me clones? I have 6 little hands who could help with work. The children could help, but for some reason I don't let them. I guess I am too proud. Each year I think i can do it on my own. I can keep up with a large garden, 4 children, and a house to clean. I keep telling myself, "Next year you will be super mom."

Who is this super mom ideal and who gave her life? Where did I get the idea that I have to do it all? Why is it so hard to ask for help, and to delegate work? Does it really all come down to the simplest, silliest worry? Is it possible that fear of rejection or resistance is what keeps me stubbornly pushing my way along through the waist high mud of life when I could be on the high road? I have to allow myself to give up worry about the plans swirling in my head and filling the lines on the yellow legal pads. I am sure that it is possible to have a decent garden. That's why I am so headstrong. I have faith that I can do better. Maybe I'll just plow down these tall plants and remind myself of the lesson learned. Worry gets nothing done. Actions, no matter how small, are what will help me arrive at my goal. Maybe by the time I'm 99 I'll have it down. For now I'll take it one weed at a time.